So, I'm in the midsts of week three of student teaching. Last week I got spring break, which was a much needed vacation, but frankly, I already need another, it feels like. I'm really getting into the full swing of student teaching, and the stress level is ridiculously high. I'm pretty much in survival mode all the time, it seems like, and then things just get more stressful. But at the same time, I do feel like I'm getting better, despite the cognitive load being massive.
I'm realizing I have a lot of problems as a teacher. But then again, that's what student teaching is for, to iron out those problems enough that you can become a real teacher. It's molding me into an entirely new species, and the process is exhausting and can seem almost traumatic at times. This is the hardest I have ever had to work, and despite me spending almost every waking moment either at the school or at my computer working on LPs, I still suck. Usually I'm able to master skills easily, and gain competency with ease, but this, this is genuinely challenging. I'm trying to think of it neurologically, like I'm just building the massive amount of connections needed to handle such a stimulating and mentally challenging job, and that helps a little, but at the end of the day, I still am faced with the reality that I didn't teach a certain topic as well as I should have.
But I must march on, and remember that I will improve. I'll post more when I have time.
-P.
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